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Tips on writing good letters

When writing a love letter to a person you are interested in, always always remember five of your true friends.

Sincerity & honesty

- Sincerity and honesty… such beautiful words! Write from the heart using simple terms. No complicated words when a simple one will do fine.

- The words and phrases you use should not be open to misinterpretation, since writing lacks the verbal cues and inflections in speech that would guide the reader.

- If you have a picture of the one you write to, it would be rather well to place it in front of you as you were talking to her or him.

- Delicate matters such as health problems, disabilities and others of such kind should be mentioned in an introduction letter to avoid misunderstanding later.

- Try to give correct estimate of yourself


- Creativity is a very good quality but sincerity always comes before creativity when writing a letter. What is the purpose of your letter? Isn’t it to express your feelings and not just to astound your partner with a brilliant style?

- A vivid example from classic literature might be a good support for your reply to his/her introduction latter.


- Using the creative power of your mind is very helpful when communicating with a virtual lover. But try not to overshadow the real personality of your lady by the mental image of his/her.

- Letter to Josephine from Napoleon Bonaparte, Paris 1795
“I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening we spent have left my senses in turmoil. Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart! My soul aches with sorrow, and there can be no rest for you lover; but is there still more in store for me when, yielding to the profound feelings which overwhelm me, I draw from your lips, from your heart, a love which consumes me with fire? Mio dolce amour, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.”


- The quality of being unique is quite important when introducing yourself in a letter. Make your letter stand out from all those he/she will probably get!

- This is one of the best examples of how to make your letter unique:
From L. Van Beethoven:
“My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us. I can live wholly with you or not at all – yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home, send my soul enwrapped in you in the land of spirits.
Oh, why is it necessary to part from one whom one so loves and yet my life in Vienna is now a wretched life, your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men at my age, I need a steady, quiet life, can that be under our condition? Be calm, only by a clam consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together, be calm, love me, today, yesterday, what tearful longings for you, you, you, my life, my all, farewell,
Oh continue to love me, never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved L.
ever thine
ever mine
ever for each other.
Ludwig Van Beethoven”

Letter Lay-out
- Dating Your Letters
Please note that in some of the countries the date is written “backwards”. First the day, then the month and then the year. To avoid confusion, spell out the month like this:
5 March 2007 or March 5, 2007.

- Greeting
Begin your first letter with a simple “Hello”.
Be aware that some people might find it slightly awkward if you start your first letter with “Dear…” For some people, the word “Dear” means that you know the person you are writing to and you feel affectionately towards him/her. When you receive a reply, then you can start your second letter with “Dear…”

- Closing
Close your letter with “Sincerely yours…” or “Hope to hear from you soon”. Do not mention “Love” unless you have had an extensive relationship and are clear on your feelings towards each other.

Make Him/Her Feel Special!
- Why did you pick that particular person to write to? You know the answer. So explain it to him/her, as he/she definitely wants to hear it! Maybe it was her lovely smile or her shining eyes or her interest in archeology or maybe his bravery and sense of humour. Make her feel like you singled her out of the thousands of possible women you could have chosen to approach. It makes a big impression.

"No, thanks!..." - letters
- Sometimes you may be not interested in the person who writes to you. In that case, a brief note of thanks is more polite than leaving the letter unanswered.

- This also applies if you decide you don’t want to write to a certain person after corresponding with him/her for awhile.

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Tips on writing bad letters

It is very possible that your enemies will be hovering over your keyboard, and their names are:

Small lies
Never lie in your latter. NEVER. Its OK for one time. You lie to be more interesting. Great ! You write the second latter. Now you have to be consistent with all the lies you wrote in your first epistle. Tricky.

Boasting & pompous speech
- “I have traveled all over this earth and have met some very interesting people but not that special someone I seek to share my life with”. ALL OVER this earth? Really?

- Following is a good example of pompous speech:
“Let us drink the cup of love that the universe has to offer. Wow… The miles may be great, the virtuality of the service limited, but all of this is of no consequence. I am sending you my love across the miles”. Do you think this person has ever met his mistress face to face? No! Is he already talking about love? Yes!

- “First let me tell you a little about me. I'm the Founder and Chief Operating Office of a company named …. There are over 1000 partners in my Company and I believe if asked, friend and enemy alike would tell you that I am a man of my word. And albeit as a pirate, they would also tell you I am a gentleman by every standard of measure. I am the patriarch of my family, and I’m the one at my company that everybody comes to when they have a problem. I'm good at fixing things. Of course for a man in my position there are many beautiful women available”. No comment.

- Using letter templates is not such a bad thing (especially templates for the first - so called - introduction letters), but later it may result in depersonalization and confusion. For example, at the beginning of a letter a person writes “Dear Pam” and at the end - “Good bye, my sweet Maria”. You can be sure that such confusion is a real turn off for a lady!

Excessive perseverance and hassle
- Excessive perseverance and hassle are dangerous too!
Read the following quotation: “Tata, please, if you are writing to other guys, never promise them anything until we meet in person. I don’t want to loose you; don’t break my heart. You and me we will make a perfect couple. You belong to me. (Don’t forget, the Author of this letter had just met the lady a very short time ago. A bit early for such serious statements, isn’t it?) I already know you in my heart, you my tape of a lady and you need a man like me. I would like to visit you soon. Reply to me soon”.

Spelling mistakes
Spelling mistakes are annoying and irritating. They might be the evidence of your carelessness and lack of education, which can distract from you and your message.

Remember, accuracy is an absolute must when writing any letter, not to speak of love correspondence.

It does not matter if the language with which you communicate with your sweetheart is NOT native for either of you (example: a French lady and an Italian gentleman use English as a common language), spelling mistakes can be easily avoided by spelling check available in every text processor.

“Hello sweet Ninel, thanx for your lovly letter. I like very mutch to read every word you write”. Oops…..

Read the following message. Does the Author really think he has a chance to attract a lady’s attention??

“Hi (impersonal salutation; who is this letter addressed to?)

Thank you for your letter. So about me, well as you know my name is Steve and I live in London and I spend part of my time in Europe. I run my own company called …. I spend some time traveling in places like Africa and Asia.

Regarding sport, I have always loved being a sportsman and when younger

I ran for the USA, I skied, played rugby, pretty much any sport in fact. I achieved a world record for running from Cape Town to Cairo. You can find the entry if you are interested on the Guinness Book of records web site….

PS the photo is of me was taken in Africa, I do try to help with life over there, will tell you about that another time”. (Will be there another time?..)

Needless honesty
Needless honesty is a rare but very harmful to the quality of young relations. The Author of the following passage seems to forget that he is talking to his potential bride and not asking advice from a friend of his or a psychotherapist:

“I will tell you I have had a new lady write to me. She wrote to me back in October and I did not answer her. However, when I wrote to you a few weeks ago I wrote to her as well she just answered me yesterday. I guess I will write to her as well. I hope I am doing right.
Should I tell you about these ladies would it hurt you? (Of course it would!) Would I be betraying their confidence? (Of course you would!)
I will take a chance and tell you that there are four ladies I’m correspond with at this moment…..

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