Jokes
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A history joke
What did they wear at the Boston Tea Party?
T-Shirts!
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If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
His wife!
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What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can't keep a good man down!
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Who designed Noah's ark?
An ark-itect!
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When did Caesar reign?
I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him?
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An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine
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Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
Because he was dead!
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What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old?
A year older on his birthday!
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An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload. An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: My little sister ate it!
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Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
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An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked
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An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away
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Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!
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An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
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Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
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Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
At knight school!
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Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up
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Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!
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Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
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What tables don't you have to learn?
Dinner tables!
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