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Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!
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What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!
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Little Monster: I hate my teacher.
Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!
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"What's the matter with your dinner?"
"Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten!"
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Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else!
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A math joke
Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
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Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?
Pupil: The sausage!
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Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
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What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
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Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
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My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!
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A math joke
Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!
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What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations!
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Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb
Teacher: Really?, what did she say?
Son: Baa!
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What do history teachers make when they want to get together?
Dates!
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Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!
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Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince?
Old King Coal!
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Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!
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Where was the Magna Carta signed?
At the bottom!
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What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!
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