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What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!
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School Jokes
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I'm learning ancient history?
So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times!
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Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!
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I'm not going back to school ever again
Why ever not?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions!
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Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"
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What happens if you draw on the blackboard and the teacher told you not to?
She draws a smack!
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Who was the biggest thief in history?
Atlas, he held up the whole world!
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Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!
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What did Noah do for a job?
He was an arkitecht!
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What's that fly doing in my gravy?
Looks like the breast stroke!
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Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!
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Father: You were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!
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Is that school food spicy?
No, smoke always comes out of my ears!
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Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree?
I'm stumped!
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"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?"
"Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"
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An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I put it in a safe, but lost the combination!
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Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?
Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!
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