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A history joke
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
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A math joke
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!
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A history joke
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
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A history joke
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!
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A history joke
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
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Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!
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A history joke
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!
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A history joke
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn't you say there was a quack in it!
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An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school
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A math joke
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That's not fair!
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When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
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Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
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A history joke
How did Vikings communicate?
By norse code!
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A math joke
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
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A history joke
What is a forum?
Two-um plus two-um!
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Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!
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An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
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What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
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Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!
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What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!
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