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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage & after.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules"
Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
Rule # 4 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.
Rule # 5 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.
Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
Rule # 7 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum said, "No." The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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What is the thinnest book in the world?
What men know about women!
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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Why don't men eat more M & M's?
They are too hard to peel!
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
Gifted!
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature!
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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Why are blond jokes so short?
So men can remember them!
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Category: Men vs Women Jokes
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What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up!
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