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Q- How come men never sink in water?
A- Shit floats.
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Category: Male Jokes
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Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. Because there were no women on his side.
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Category: Male Jokes
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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
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Category: Male Jokes
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Why don't men ever get MAD COW DISEASE?
Because men are all PIGS.
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Category: Male Jokes
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WHY IS FOOD BETTER THEN MEN ?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT AN HOUR FOR SECONDS!
WHY ARE MEN LIKE BLENDERS?
YOU NEED ONE BUT NOT SURE WHY!
WHY ARE MEN LIKE POPCORN ?
THEY SATIFY YOU BUT ONLY FOR A WHILE !
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Category: Male Jokes
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How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Let the bitch do the ironing in the dark.
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Category: Male Jokes
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How many divorced Men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who knows; they never get the house
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Category: Male Jokes
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What does a beer bottle and a guy have in common?
There both empty from the neck up.
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Category: Male Jokes
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Q-why did the man get fired from the Orange Juice factory?
A-he wasn't concentrating
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Category: Male Jokes
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Why do women have more trouble with hemorrhoids than men?
Because God made man the perfect asshole.
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What do men and linoleum have in common?
Lay them right and you can walk all over them the rest of your life.
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Category: Male Jokes
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What do men and microwaves have in common?
They're both done in 30 seconds.
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Category: Male Jokes
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What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging
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Category: Male Jokes
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How can you tell if a man is well hung?
If you can't get your finger between the rope and his neck!!!!
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Category: Male Jokes
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How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his feet.
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What did the elephant say to the naked man?
It's kinda cute, but can it pick up peanuts?
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What's the diff. between Bigfoot and an honest man?
Bigfoot has been sighted!
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True facts about men!
1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.
2. Woman don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason:you're sick of him.
4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.
5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.
7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.
8. A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.
9. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.
11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is
married 12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.
13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them.
14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent -- but they make great pets.
15. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.
16. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop"..
17. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.
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Why are all dumb Blond jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
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What is the difference between government bonds and men?
Government bonds mature.
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