Love Making Tips - Miscellaneous Jokes | Christmas Jokes - [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

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Q: What do elves learn in school?

A: The Elf-abet!

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Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

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Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

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Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

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Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

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Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

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Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to walk.

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Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!

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Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.

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Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.

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Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!

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Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

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Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

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Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

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Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

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Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

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Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.

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Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.

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