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Q. Why did the bagpiper get mad at the drummer?
A. He moved a drone and wouldn't tell him which one.
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Q. Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?
A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.
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Tom: "Hey, Buddy. How late does the bagpipe band play?"
Buddy: "Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."
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Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?
A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you, get off of my cloud!", while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"
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Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.
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Q. Why is a bagpipe like a Scud missile?
A. Both are offensive and inaccurate.
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Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that's not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it.
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Q: How can you tell the stage you're playing on is level?
A: The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
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Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.
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Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos?
A: They make great anchors!
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Q: Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo?
A: They make good paddles.
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Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A: A chain saw has a dynamic range.
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Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A: You can turn off a chainsaw.
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Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.
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Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?
A: You can tune a Harley.
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Q: Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?
A: Saves time.
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Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend?
A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth.
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Q: How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?
A: By their names.
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Q: What is the most seldom heard comment made of banjo players?
A: "Say, isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?"
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Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
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