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Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
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Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.
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Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.
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Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
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Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes.
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Q: What\'s the definition of a gentleman?
A: Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn\'t.
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Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?
A: A trombone will bend before it breaks.
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Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?
A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.
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Orchestral trombonists count so much rest and play so many repeated figures that the sheep story also works.
Trombone: a slide whistle with delusions of granduer.
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Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better.
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Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personality.
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Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong?
A: King Kong is more sensitive.
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Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
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The best recording of the Haydn Trumpet Concerto is Music Minus One.
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Q: How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. I'm better than you."
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Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
A: The doorbell shrieks!
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Q: What is the range of a tuba?
A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.
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Q: What's a tuba for?
A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2.
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Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who's driving?
A: The policeman
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Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
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