Love Making Tips - One Line Jokes
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Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him.
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Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.

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Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.
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Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

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Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

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Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

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Man and wife make one fool.

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Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.

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Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give.
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Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.

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Marriage is a rest period between romances.

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.

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Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution?

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Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

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Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

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Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

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Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

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Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

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