Love Making Tips - One Line Jokes
Miscellaneous Business Marriage You might be a redneck if...  

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A tornado goes through your trailer's yard and makes it look neater.

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You've got to shuck your toilet paper before you use it.

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You have an autographed picture of Bob Barker in your wallet.

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You think "Meals on Wheels" is another name for roadkill.

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You shot your own 12 point coat rack.

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You've been to the emergency room more than 3 times for mashing the wrong end of a thumb tack.

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The number of times you've seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds your I.Q.

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Any of your neighbors has ever spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.

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You've ever lost a dog to a bush hog.

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You\'ve ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.

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You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
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On average, one out of every thirty words you use can be found in a dictionary.

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You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.

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You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again.

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You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.

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You think Hamlet is on the McDonald's breakfast menu.

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Your kids are going hungry tonight because you had to see your maw run her car at the dirt track race.

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Your dad says, "Let's hit the road for dinner," and then grabs a shovel.

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You ever called your sister "Mom" and didn't have to correct yourself.

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The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
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