Jokes
|
info
|
|
I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much."
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go "Whoa! Whoa!" and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
If you ever discover that what you're seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for the ride of your life.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was running to go fight in another fight, away from the first fight.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
What is it that makes a compete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
Instead of having 'answers' on a math test, they should just call them 'impressions' and it you got a different 'impression' so what, can't we all be brothers?
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
Probably to a shark about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because where does he think he's going?!
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "I did," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
"Good crowd...good crowd. I'm telling you I could use a good crowd. I'm ok now but last week I was in rough shape... Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!"
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
"My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens."
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
"When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father...I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
|
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
Comments
|
Category:
Miscellaneous
|
Like this joke? Leave your comment
here
|
