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You might be a redneck if...
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Jokes
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The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
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You're in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed.
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Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.
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Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.
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Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker.
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After the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz".
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You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.
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You pick up your girfriend on a bike for the prom.
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The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.
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A policeman asks for your ID, and you answer, "About what?"
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You wake up with chocolate in your ears after spending the night in a fine hotel.
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Your neighbor spits grass when he talks.
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In the delivery room, your husband says,"That's worse than skinning a deer!"
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You have sworn on your mother's grave while she is standing beside you.
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You refer to your cousin as "my girlfriend".
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You wake up the day after your wedding to find your sister next to you.
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You got your tater gun hangin' over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.
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You've ever entered yourself in a "Howdy Doody Look-alike" Contest.
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Your lips move while reading a stop sign.
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One of the options on your truck is a spitoon.
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