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Run Mr Taliban Song...
Sung to the tune of "Day-O" (The Banana Boat Song)
Day-O...oh Day-O,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Run Mr Taliban, we know where you're hiding,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Hey USA, USA, USA...
Air force come and they flatten you home
60ft, 70ft, 80ft craters,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Old Uncle Sam's pissed, he ain't no quitter,
Air force come and they flatten your home
When we finish you all be crying,
Air force come and they flatten your home,
Pilot is brother of New York fireman
Air force come and they flatten your home
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Republicans Democrats
The difference between Republicans & Democrats
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.
The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.
The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket and gave him fifty dollars.
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True politicial story
Supposedly G.B. Shaw once sent Winston Churchill some tickets for the first night of one of his plays.
Churchill then sent Shaw a telegram to the effect: "Cannot come first night. Will come second night if you have one."
Shaw promptly replied: "Here are two tickets for the second night. Bring a friend if you have one."
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What is one billion?
According to a recent government publication ...
A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
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I have two sons who are at opposite poles on the military issue. Rick thinks the military exists "only to kill people" and says so at every chance he gets.
Mike thinks the military is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and plans to make it his career. Needless to say, when they get together, sparks fly.
A recent interchange went something like this:
Rick: "'Military intelligence' is a contradiction in terms."
Mike: "No more than 'civilian worker'."
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What day is that day?
My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, "What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?"
My husband quickly answered, "Election day."
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Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.
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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with 'Once Upon A Time'?"
He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise'."
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A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"
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"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97
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"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/5/93
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"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 5/22/98
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"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"
-- Vice President Al Gore, 12/6/93
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"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 11/30/96
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"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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