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Q: Why did the Clintons switch from MCI to AT&T?
A: They didn't have enough friends left to make a calling circle.
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Q: What\'s the difference between President Hoover and Clinton?
A: One promised a chicken in every pot and the other was an unpromising chicken who smoked pot.
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Bill Clinton.
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Q: What\'s the difference between Clinton and Christopher Reeve?
A: Clinton is dead from the neck up.
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Q: Where are the two biggest airbags located?
A: The White House.
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Q: Who was the first liberal Democrat?
A: Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been, and did it all on borrowed money.
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Q: Did you hear that someone threw a bottle of beer at Clinton?
A: Yes, but it's ok. It was a Draft and he was able to dodge it.
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Q: What's Bill Clinton's least expensive hobby?
A: To sit in the Oval Office and collect dust.
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Q: Did you hear that Tyson Foods has genetically engineered a new breed of chicken and named it in honor of Bill Clinton?
A: It's a brainless, spineless, tar-and-feathers yellow chicken.
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Q: Why is Bill Clinton the living proof of reincarnation?
A: Because no one could get this stupid in one lifetime.
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Q: Do you know why Clinton gave the Federal employees the day off on Wednesday?
A: It was Secretaries' Day and he was too cheap to buy his a present!
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Q: What's a word for Clintons '92 campaign
A: A snow job.
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Q: What will you get if Clinton's health bill passes?
A: No Job.
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Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It\'s irrelevant; they still don\'t know they\'re in the dark!
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Q: What's the best job a dumb blonde ever had?
A: Vice-president of the United States.
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Q: Have you heard about the new Bill Clinton doll?
A: You pull a little ring and it never tells the same story twice!
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Q: What do Hillary Clinton and Marie Antoinette have in common?
A: Nothing . . . yet.
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Q: Why does Hillary Clinton often wear turtle necks when attending Bill's speaking engagements?
A: So you can't see her adam's apple move as he speaks.
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Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy?
A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.
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Acronyms for Clinton and his administration
Clinton: (C)razed (L)ow-class (I)diot (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation
Clinton: (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntent (O)n (N)eedlessly (T)rashing (O)ur (N)ation
Clinton: (C)learly (L)oose (I)nternal (N)avigation (T)echniques (O)ccupy (N)ever-Neverland
Clinton: (C)ompulsive (L)iar (I)s (N)ation's (T)op (O)fficial (N)ow
Clinton: (C)omplete (L)oser (I)n (N)ow (T)errorizing (O)ur (N)ation
Hillary: (H)ighly (I)nexperienced (L)eft-liberal (A)cademic (R)ighteous (Y)uppies
Gore: (G)ennifer's (O)nly (R)emaining (E)nterprise
Gore: (G)reatly (O)riented to (R)adical (E)cology
Gore: (G)reat (O)ne (R)egulating (E)verything
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