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I have two sons who are at opposite poles on the military issue. Rick thinks the military exists "only to kill people" and says so at every chance he gets.
Mike thinks the military is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and plans to make it his career. Needless to say, when they get together, sparks fly.
A recent interchange went something like this:
Rick: "'Military intelligence' is a contradiction in terms."
Mike: "No more than 'civilian worker'."
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What day is that day?
My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, "What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?"
My husband quickly answered, "Election day."
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Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.
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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with 'Once Upon A Time'?"
He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise'."
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A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"
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"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97
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"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/5/93
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"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 5/22/98
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"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"
-- Vice President Al Gore, 12/6/93
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"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 11/30/96
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"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"The future will be better tomorrow."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
-- Vice President Al Gore, 9/21/97
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"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
-- Vice President Al Gore to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93
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"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."
-- Vice President Al Gore
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