I need some advice.. Because I am lost. Post a Reply | Views: 2158 | Started By: FirstLove | Replies: 2 Alright, I will try not to make this to long... I am 19, she is 19, We met in May, She lived 45-1hr away from me. We were in a relationship for 10 months, I would say about half way through it got serious. We wound up fighting a lot because we never got to see eachother, mainly because of the distance, school and social life (friends). She broke up with me first, then we got back together (dating), things didnt work out, and we broke up (my choice). It was really hard for her because she loved me a lot. (I loved her equally, I just didnt realize that I did at the time, in my life, It has been really hard for me to reach out and expose my deepest feelings to someone). She talked me shortly after our break up, for about three months, after that, I hadnt heard from her.... I moved to a closer location to her (in hopes that we might be able to get back together someday, but the move also benefitted me being closer to my job). Then about 4 months ago I get a phone call, its her, and I havent seen or talked to her in a long time, I find out she is dating a 26 yr old with a 2 yr old kid, at the time he had no job, no place to live, no custody of his son(they started dating shortly after the time I stopped hearing from her, so she had provided him with a place to live in her basment, helped him find a job and helped him gain custody of his son). So she calls me, and she complains to me about all the bad things goin on in her relationship, how she feels like a mother to her own boyfriend and how that has lead to things like she can not be "interested" in him anymore....romantically. So, my advice ( along with about everyone else she talked to) was to get rid of him. About 3 days ago, she did, and I know she loved him, and I know he loves her...but he is not right for her, she knows that. I love this girl with everything that I am, and she knows how I feel....The night she broke up with him, she wound up coming to my place, and we hooked up ( a mistake, I realize now, because after we had hooked up, she told me she doesnt want to be like that with me, but its not because she isnt attracted to me)....I took that hook up as a sign that she wanted to be with me, so we talked and she says that sometimes she has feelings as more then friends and sometimes she doesnt, that she is going through a lot right now and she doesnt want to think about it, that she wants to stay single for a while...I asked her if there is any chance of us...again, and she said I dont know... I have always been there for this girl, ...I've saved her life before..even when we arent dating or going out, I am always there for her, throughout any of her little fights with her dad, to major blow up fights with her boyfriends..I think maybe I just need to give her time..I am worried that she really loves this guy still, and that in her eyes I couldnt amount to what he provided...emotionally. I just dont know what to do...how to help her..I feel like because I told her how I feel, that she is afraid to confide in me now...which I know she needs to do, she is not the type of person to take things on her own. I just need advice....on what to do to help her make the break up easier...also on what I should do about her and I.. I mean she says she still loves me...she just isnt in love with me right now..which I understand because of the break-up, I dont expect her to love someone else over night, but she also says she isnt in-love with her ex and she wasnt for months before they broke-up. I just need opinions...I guess Im just ranting because It hurts, I need to get it out somewhere...Thanks for listening, and reading this far...

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I think your "girlfriend" always needed you as a friend to talk to, pour out her soul, which she used  to do.. Now Oops, she realizes you have strong feelings for her... May be she's not ready to think about it all too serious. She needs time, don't push her. It's her choice. May be she needs to realize how much you love her and how much you do for her. I don't think she'll come back to her 26 year old father of child. Wait, and be patient. She's confused at at the moment, if she needs you - be there.. Responded: Grace   Well, thanks for the advice, but I just found out that after all those months of helping her on the phone and such, she just wound up going back to him.....Im done with her, Im wiping my hands clean, I cant hang around forever, waiting for my heart to be crushed time and time again.... Responded: FirstLove