I had a talk with my ex yesterday online and he told me that everyday he was w/ me he wanted to kill himself. He's always had problems as a child and even then he didn't want to live. I feel so lost and confused. I wanted to help him but he has to be the one that wants to change. And I know that no matter what, everyone will still have a part of their childhood self within them. He also told me that I was the one that changed and pretty much I'm the one that screwed everything up. I feel so hurt by that and I really don't know what happened and what to say really. Should I apologize for myself? I mean, I know I have done a few things out of my character. How could he propose to me if he felt that way? I mean, when you propose to someone, you mean it and you stick by your word, right? I am feeling so much pain and even though I thought I could be OK, I feel empty when I'm around my friends and when I try to be happy, there's still this big hole in me that can't be filled. I think my heart is breaking all over again.
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