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| Bitter Sweet Relationship
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Views: 225 | Started By: Guest | Replies: 2
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Okay, so I have been with this guy for almost 3 yrs. We are in a serious committed relationship&very much in love. However we constantly fight over things that have no meaning. I know he is in love with me but I cant help to feel that we are falling apart.He comes home to me every night,we have a large circle of friends,we have our own interests,and we have a lot in common. We talk about gettin married&havin children,but neither of us can go any further in this relationship becuase of the arguing.we always get angry and yell and say hateful things then apologize and make up.I know everyone argues but our arguments have gotten worse as time goes on.Words turned to yelling and now the occasional violence.It is hard becuase we are hurtin each other so much but we are so in love that we want to make it better.we didnt argue the first year we were together,then he betrayed me.i learned that he had cheated and lied to me for a long time.I stayed with him becuase he apologized and came clean with me and never actually had sex..still its cheating and ever since then we have had problems.I almost cheated on him to get him back but couldnt go thru with it. I told him and he forgave me but I dont know if I have forgiven him. i want to make this work but I dont know what to do. He loves me and does anything for me as I do for him. But still we are hurting each other. What can we do?
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I really do understand how you feel. I was somewhat in the same situation a year ago. The yelling kept coming back over and over again. Then later it was a bit violent (no fist fight or anything. More of a tantrum). Your post repeatedly says "we love each other very much" that sounds a bit like...of wishful thinking. It seems that you love him very much, and want your significant other to feel the same as well (in my opinion). Best thing for you to do is to actually speak with your significant other about the status of your relationship. It's best not to avoid it. If the relationship is failing then there's not much to do about it unless you'd like to give more effort into it and see how it goes. But you should have a one on one discussion with him and tell him how you feel about the cheating, about your feeling toward the relationship, and whatever you feel is in your mind. Feeling that you have not forgiven him for cheating will not help you progress your relationship. It is better to confront this problem, rather than to wait until something actually happens, in which you get the same ending while doing the confrontation. But this sounds a bit complicated. If you'd like the easier approach, just try not to yell back when both of you are arguing. The arguing is more of a pastime thing. If you do it regularly, it'll happen regularly. The more effort you try to stop arguing and yelling back over something stupid, there WILL be no arguements in the future.
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| Responded: Guest |
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you guys say that you forgive each other for the whole cheating thing but it doesn't sound like you really do and it seems like you guys love each other but don't really have any trust and if you don't have trust you don't have anything beacause if you really forgave him for cheating you wouldn't have tired to get him back, Ya Dig
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| Responded: Jasmina |
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