I'm so very very broken hearted Post a Reply | Views: 549 | Started By: JessicaHunte | Replies: 4 I started dating this guy...well we'll call him a boy for this story, when I was 16. he was 20. He was the first to say I love you and about 3 weeks later i said it back. this was about 2 1/2 months into the relationship. he was my first partner and i was 17 at the time. we were madly in love and he was in college and i was still in high school. things were wonderful and we were always together. everything was perfect. then after we were together for over a year, it all started going downhill. he turned 21 and i was only 17 and 18. the bar seen was occurring and i couldn't go with him. i went out with my girls and we started drifting. he would promise me things and then he would break them. always with the guys now and never with me. we had to have broken up atleast 15 times before the worst part came along. and everyt time we would break up he would do it and then either that night or next day we were back together. it was summer and he was going on a summer trip to the beach with his guy friends. 4-5 days before he broke up with me. even went so far that when i went to his house to return stuff hysterically crying he laughed in my face. he left for the beach and i started talkign to another guy i knew liked me. i knew i could create jealousy with this guy. i felt bad but i went for it anyway. halfway thru the week my x was at the beach he called me and told me how sorry i was and how much he loved me and missed me, but all i could do was tell him i was dating and had kissed another guy already. this tore him apart and sad to say i was happy he was egtting what he deserved. the following night i ended up sleeping with this new guy. the x came home from the beach a few days later and i told him i slept w/ another. i have never seen such pain and crying and hurt. after 2 more with with this new guy i got rid of him and took back the x. everything went wonderful liek the beginning. we were perfect. then college came around for me and second semester the boyfriend came to my college to go to school there. thats when it REALLY went down hill. fighting fighting fighting. breaking up every 5 minutes and he was so cruel. my girfriends became better friends with him and they would leave me all alone on weekend nights in my dorm room by myself while they went to his apartment and partied. i wasn't allowed there cause we were broken up. so i cried and cried night after night and my grades slipped. things finally got a little better over the following summer. my grandfather passed away and he was there for me 110%. then school camme around again and this tiem it got to be the worst. the boyfriend joined a fraternity and i became the last priority. the girlfriends were always there for me and i was never with the boyfriend. occasionally but when we were together we never did anything. jsut sat there. he never said how much he loved me and he wasn't the sweet caring guy i fell in love with anymore. so i broke it off. thinking it would cause him to realize what i mean to him. well i had slipped into a very deep depression that had started the previous year and had threatened to kill myself. and recently at the beginning of dec i tried. friends called 911 and i was rushed to the ER. wasn't going to die but i wanted to. and that was it with him. he was one of the main reasons i tried to. i had felt that i was nobody anymore and this was my only solution. it has been 3 1/2 years with him. now i feel he has almost completely moved on and we only broke it off no more then 2 weeks ago. i am so depressed and seeing a psychologist but i cry everyday and i love him so much......i am so lost with out him and i don't kow how to handle this situation

Main / Cheaters and Marital Relations

I feel for you Jess and I wish there was an absolute answer for you, but there isn't... merely suggestions. It's hard to be in your position I know, as I've been there before too. 1st love is always difficult to let go of, and I don't believe anyone truly forget's their first anything. Comming out of the dark, what seems to work with many people, is to try to eliminate anything to do that will make you think of the person, because doing so only hurts.I also don't believe that it is worth trying to be friends in your case, and that's only being realistic. Unless you truely get over him, you will not be able to be friends without feeling pain. Have you considered dating again? It's all about just getting to know a person better, nomatter how you label it (boyfriend/girlfriend) and there is much to learn from the random people that you will encounter in the process. After all, your friends were once strangers. As is anyone that you share you life with. I hope that you will find the strength to share yourself with someone else.Kindest and warmest of wishes to you this time of year. No one should have to feel the way you do I know. 5 years from now, you'll realise that this experience was a valuable one that made you grow. The challenge is to feel that way... now.Please, stay alive. I don't know you at all, but what I do know is that you have much to offer to the world. We're here for you too. Responded: Didi   Jess I'm so sorry for all that you have been through, I don't know what all to tell you but killing yourself is not a option you have so much going for you girl! I haven't exactly met you but I'm here for you whenever you need to talk or something so pm me whenever you want. Responded: Babygirl   I'm so sorry that you are going through the same Pain that I am nobody deserves this! if you ever want to talk Pm me k Responded: BrokenAngel   I'm sorry for what has happened to you. But i do think that separating yourself from everything that reminds you of him is a good idea. You will move on..and you should welcome the change...new fresh start! imagine it! All those lovely new dates! Taking your life does not solve anything, how can you meet any more good looking blokes!?! Hope things improve hun!   Responded: flozzylozzy