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| How to say NO!
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Views: 4402 | Started By: Chair | Replies: 8
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First hello to all of you here!I need some advice: yea, no matter how logically I think or how many words I choose, it's difficult. What??? To nicely say “No thanks” to a guy...1. after two week e-mails (and I rely like his mail) and then he sends me his pic2. after first meeting (after almost rely like him on the pic and his mail…he does, say, or just smell so… you know) 3. after second meeting (I give him second date look, but…doesn’t click nowhere)4. after we kissed on a date (what can I say about this… same as the above I guess)I am still learning but, Is it so difficult for everyone or am I just lacking a little of …what??? Egoism? What should I do? Just say “No thank you” and forget about all. (ok… this is fine when I e-mailed with him just two times, met and go home) Should I gave him reasons why if he ask? Truth or not?Is there a “nice way” or is just “my way”??any suggestions or your story please??? Thank you!
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"I do not want to hurt your feelings, but this isn't going to work out." You are not obligated to state reasons, but if you feel you should, be honest. "I liked your emails, I liked your picture, but it just isn't clicking for me."How he reacts is his business.
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| Responded: Cherry |
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Just be honest, but not cruel. Honesty doesn't have to exclude tact. I know it sounds corny, but the "Golden Rule" always applies. "Do unto others as you would have them to unto you." Just think of how someone could let you down easy.One thing that someone told me that I thought was a nice way of letting me down was, "You're a great person, and you deserve someone who is going to be CRAZY about you. I think you're funny, smart, cute, (etc.), but I just don't feel any romantic sparks."
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| Responded: Lorina |
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I've heard it said that you can't completely eliminate the hurt of saying "no thanks" to someone, but you can reduce the hurt as much as possible by following the advice that's already been provided. And Bluesy is right on when she says "how he reacts is his business". After all, you've done your part. This question is actually quite timely, because today I had to tell someone that I have feelings for someone else that I need to act on, and that it wouldn't be fair to either of us if we continued dating. She said that she understood completely, and she thanked me for being honest. Can't ask for much more than that, I suppose.
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| Responded: mouse |
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Yea, you've been a good help, thanks. I just realize when I read your answers that I need instant help at the exact time that I need to say »No….«. And that »help« is simply (it's never simple though, sometimes I lost my voice ha ha) remembering of what I realy want and a lines wich you give me and beeing in touch with my humankindnes. It's the truth that matters most… and I just have to work a little on that part (quote: "how he reacts is his business")Mbe it’s just that my past beliefs prevent me from thinking that it’s rely not my responsibility how someone will react. But, every person is different…and I’m hoping that every “next one” is more “grown up”.I strongly agree on last segment of Marin… It’s just, you can’t read people’s mind and real intentions at first. Well I can learn a lot about people’s mind by being happy with myself alone cos then I can see them better.
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| Responded: Chair |
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Note: The following is only about half-topical, and only about half-funny (IMHO).101 EASY WAYS TO SAY NOI'd love to, but...1 I have to floss my cat.2 I've dedicated my life to linguini.3 I want to spend more time with my blender.4 the President said he might drop in.5 the man on television told me to say tuned.6 I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.7 I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.8 it's my parakeet's bowling night.9 it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.10 I'm building a pig from a kit.11 I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.12 I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.13 there's a disturbance in the Force.14 I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.15 I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.16 I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.17 I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.18 I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.19 I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.20 my crayons all melted together.21 I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.22 I'm in training to be a household pest.23 I'm getting my overalls overhauled.24 my patent is pending.25 I'm attending the opening of my garage door.26 I'm sandblasting my oven.27 I'm worried about my vertical hold.28 I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.29 I'm being deported.30 the grunion are running.31 I'll be looking for a parking space.32 my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.33 the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.34 I'm taking punk totem pole carving.35 I have to fluff my shower cap.36 I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.37 I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.38 I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.39 my plot to take over the world is thickening.40 I have to fulfill my potential.41 I don't want to leave my comfort zone.42 it's too close to the turn of the century.43 I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.44 my subconscious says no.45 I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.46 I left my body in my other clothes.47 the last time I went, I never came back.48 I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.49 I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.50 none of my socks match.51 I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.52 I'm having all my plants neutered.53 people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.54 I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.55 I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."56 I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.57 my yucca plant is feeling yucky.58 I'm touring China with a wok band.59 my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.60 I never go out on days that end in "Y."61 my mother would never let me hear the end of it.62 I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.63 I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.64 I'm too old/young for that stuff.65 I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.66 I have too much guilt.67 there are important world issues that need worrying about.68 I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.69 I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.70 I promised to help a friend fold road maps.71 I feel a song coming on.72 I'm trying to be less popular.73 my bathroom tiles need grouting.74 I have to bleach my hare.75 I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.76 I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.77 you know how we psychos are.78 my favorite commercial is on TV.79 I have to study for a blood test.80 I'm going to be old someday.81 I've been traded to Cincinnati.82 I'm observing National Apathy Week.83 I have to rotate my crops.84 my uncle escaped again.85 I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.86 I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.87 I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.88 I have to go to court for kitty littering.89 I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.90 I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.91 having fun gives me prickly heat.92 I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.93 I have to jog my memory.94 my palm reader advised against it.95 my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.96 I have to stay home and see if I snore.97 I prefer to remain an enigma.98 I think you want the OTHER [your name] .99 I have to sit up with a sick ant.100 I'm trying to cut down.101 ... well, maybe.
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| Responded: Catgirl |
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