Babies

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It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money.
Category: Babies Author: Elinor Goulding Smith

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Babies are always more trouble than you thought - and more wonderful.
Category: Babies Author: Charles Osgood

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Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
Category: Babies Author: Ed Howe

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People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
Category: Babies Author: Leo J Burke

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Babies are such a nice way to start people.
Category: Babies Author: Don Herrold

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Every baby needs a lap.
Category: Babies Author: Henry Robin

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Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.

Category: Babies Author: P J O Rourke

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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
Category: Babies Author: Mark Twain

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A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race.

Category: Babies Author: Barbara Christine Seifert

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One of the most obvious results of having a baby around the house is to turn two good people into complete idiots who probably wouldn't have been much worse than mere imbeciles without it.
Category: Babies Author: Georges Courteline

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It was the tiniest thing I ever decided to put my whole life into.
Category: Babies Author: Terri Guillemets

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God's interest in the human race is nowhere better evinced than in obstetrics.

Category: Babies Author: Martin H Fischer

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A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
Category: Babies Author: Carl Sandburg

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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Category: Babies Author: Dave Barry

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