Quote - Aphorism - Proverb
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In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV.
Category: Advertising Author: Erma Bombeck
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I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Category: Dieting Author: Erma Bombeck
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I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
Category: Dieting Author: Erma Bombeck
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The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Category: Family Author: Erma Bombeck
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Category: Football Author: Erma Bombeck
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Category: Football Author: Erma Bombeck
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
Category: Football Author: Erma Bombeck
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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Category: Grandparents Author: Erma Bombeck
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Category: Holidays Author: Erma Bombeck
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Category: Holidays Author: Erma Bombeck
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Category: Housework Author: Erma Bombeck
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
Category: Libraries Author: Erma Bombeck
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
Category: Life Author: Erma Bombeck
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Category: Medical Subjects Author: Erma Bombeck
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Category: Men Author: Erma Bombeck
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
Category: Parenting Author: Erma Bombeck
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Category: Running Author: Erma Bombeck
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
Category: Skiing Author: Erma Bombeck
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Category: Teenagers Author: Erma Bombeck
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
Category: Teenagers Author: Erma Bombeck
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