Quote - Aphorism - Proverb
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With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet.
Category: Abortion Author: George Carlin
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
Category: America Author: George Carlin
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Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.
Category: Baseball Author: George Carlin
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
Category: Change Author: George Carlin
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Category: Death Author: George Carlin
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Fuck all the people who say, "God bless," and then don't bother to complete the sentence. Who they are, I haven't the slightest. But, if I were God, I would not honor such a request.
Category: God Author: George Carlin
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
Category: Night Author: George Carlin
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
Category: Religion Author: George Carlin
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
Category: Religion Author: George Carlin
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Category: Weather Author: George Carlin
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