Hockey

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Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.
Category: Hockey Author: Steve Rushin

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By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.
Category: Hockey Author: Steve Rushin

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A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.
Category: Hockey Author: Jimmy Cannon

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Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
Category: Hockey Author: Doug Larson

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Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental.
Category: Hockey Author: Jim McKenny

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How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?
Category: Hockey Author: Jacques Plante

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Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be.
Category: Hockey Author: Wayne Gretzky

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Hockey is murder on ice.
Category: Hockey Author: Jim Murray

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Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street.
Category: Hockey Author: Author Unknown

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Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.

Category: Hockey Author: Stephen Leacock

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I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
Category: Hockey Author: Rodney Dangerfield

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We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.
Category: Hockey Author: Brad Park

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Hockey
 
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