Quote - Aphorism - Proverb
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
Category: Alcohol Author: Robert Benchley
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Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?
Category: Alcohol Author: Robert Benchley
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One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully.
Category: Baseball Author: Robert Benchley
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England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example.
Category: Baseball Author: Robert Benchley
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Category: Children Author: Robert Benchley
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Category: Dogs Author: Robert Benchley
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Category: Dogs Author: Robert Benchley
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I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.
Category: Health Author: Robert Benchley
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There are several ways in which to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Category: Money Author: Robert Benchley
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Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.
Category: Music Author: Robert Benchley
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Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
Category: Procrastination Author: Robert Benchley
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It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Category: Writing Author: Robert Benchley
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