Large collection of jokes about love and marriage, relationships and romantic jokes. True funny real life stories and more.

Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions.


Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: No one knows, it's never happened


Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares!!!

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.

Q: Why do men have slits in their underwear?
A: So they can get oxygen to their brains.


Q: What did god say after he made Adam?
A: "I can do better than that." then he made Eve.


Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted


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Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually active?
A: He's breathing!


Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.


Q: Why do women work harder than men?
A: Women get it done right the first time.


Q: Why did God create men?
A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.


Q: Why is a man like a diaper?
A: because they are always on your ass, and they are usually full of shit.


Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a non-lazy man (who helps out around the house), and a lazy man are about to jump off a bridge into water. Who makes the biggest splash?
A: The lazy man. The other 3 don't exist.
Q: Why don't men do laundry?
A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!


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Q: Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis?
A: So they can think open-mindedly.


Q: What's a man's idea of protected sex?
A: A padded headboard.


Q: What do you call a woman that works like a man?
A: A Lazy bitch.


Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.


Q: How are men like parking spaces?
A: he good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped


Q: What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Gifted


Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow?
A: One brain cell that prevents them from shitting all over the place!


Q: How are men and beer bottles alike?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.


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Q: Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?
A: It had a penis AND a brain!


Q; How are men like noodles?
A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.


Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn?
A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.


Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!)


Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.


Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes


Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.


Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A: E.T. phoned home.


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Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.


Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: "I can do better than this."


Q; Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.


Q: How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A: We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle.


Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.


Q: What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A; A hot dog and a six-pack.


Q: Why do woman fake orgasms?
A: Because men fake foreplay!


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