Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years? A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions. Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: No one knows, it's never happened Q: How can you tell if a man is happy? A: Who cares!!! Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Q: Why do men have slits in their underwear? A: So they can get oxygen to their brains. Q: What did god say after he made Adam? A: "I can do better than that." then he made Eve. Q: What do you call a man with half a brain? A: Gifted Send it to a Friend       Add new Joke       Comment Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually active? A: He's breathing! Q: How do you save a man from drowning? A: Take your foot off of his head. Q: Why do women work harder than men? A: Women get it done right the first time. Q: Why did God create men? A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. Q: Why is a man like a diaper? A: because they are always on your ass, and they are usually full of shit. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a non-lazy man (who helps out around the house), and a lazy man are about to jump off a bridge into water. Who makes the biggest splash? A: The lazy man. The other 3 don't exist. Q: Why don't men do laundry? A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control! Send it to a Friend       Add new Joke       Comment Q: Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis? A: So they can think open-mindedly. Q: What's a man's idea of protected sex? A: A padded headboard. Q: What do you call a woman that works like a man? A: A Lazy bitch. Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white? A: So men can tell if they are coming or going. Q: How are men like parking spaces? A: he good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped Q: What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50? A: Gifted Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow? A: One brain cell that prevents them from shitting all over the place! Q: How are men and beer bottles alike? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Send it to a Friend       Add new Joke       Comment Q: Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes? A: It had a penis AND a brain! Q; How are men like noodles? A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough. Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn? A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove. Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!) Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men? A: Government bonds mature. Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? A: Put the remote control between his toes Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework? A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum. Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.? A: E.T. phoned home. Send it to a Friend       Add new Joke       Comment Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. Q: What did God say after he created man? A: "I can do better than this." Q; Why is it good that there are female astronauts? A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions. Q: How do men define a 50-50 relationship? A: We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle. Q: How do men exercise at the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q: What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal? A; A hot dog and a six-pack. Q: Why do woman fake orgasms? A: Because men fake foreplay! Send it to a Friend       Add new Joke       Comment